A friend of mine has a son-in-law who works as a Border Patrol officer at the Arizona/Mexico border. Apparently what happens (according to the officer) is right before it gets dark, Mexicans will line up for miles in front of the border. As soon as it gets dark they make a run for it. There are only so many border patrol officers, so they can only catch a small percentage of the runners. The ones who are captured are led back to the border and are told to go back to Mexico, and then they set them free. Of course the returned runners keep making attempts to cross the border either the same night or on other nights. No repercussions.
When this information was relayed to a certain Idaho mountain man, his suggestion made complete sense: Throw the politicians and the Book out, gather together our Army troups to line the border, give 'em each a semi-automatic and a bunch of clips, and the first one that takes care of 200 of 'em gets a bonus.
I bet it would take ONE night of this to make the illegals behave.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Raising money in the hills of Idaho
Generally speaking, folks who live in Idaho are pretty inventive when it comes to being self-reliant. For example, I know plenty of Idaho hill folk who earn their living by hunting through the forest for critter horns which are then sold to the critter horn buyer, who then makes furniture, chandeliers and silverware handles out of them. I also know plenty of Idaho hill folk who earn their living by cutting down, splitting and hauling wood for people, as well as berry hunting in the summer/fall.
There is really tiny town in a very remote part of North Central Idaho called Elk City, population 198 (if you count the 10 cows and 28 horses). When this town started dying several years ago after the lumber mill pulled out, a very smart Elk City woman came up with a plan to create a business incubator for their area called Framing Our Community (FOC). Their mission: Framing Our Community serves the Elk City Region by providing integrated programs that create jobs, improve forest and watershed conditions, and increase educational opportunities. You can visit their site to shop for the above mentioned things for sale, as well as a plethora of other homemade wares: http://www.framingourcommunity.org/ Very clever way for these hill folk to earn a living.
So how do the Idaho hills younguns earn money? Here is an actual account of what they do:
As I am making my way down our mountain road in my car, two of our neighbors' little girls waved me down. The little girls are adorable, the youngest is a 5 years old redhead, and her older sister is about 7 years old. The little sister comes around to the drivers side of my car, I roll down my window, and we proceed with this conversation:
Me: Hi there!
LS (Little Sister): Hi, wouldja like to buy a paper? (at this point I have visions of the Sesame Street character who sells alphabet letters which are inside of his overcoat).
Me: A paper? Like.....what kind of paper?
LS: (as she is going through a stack of papers in her hand) Well, me and my sister drew up a bunch of pictures to sell.
Me: Really? Wow, lemme see whatcha got.
LS: Here! (handing me a piece of paper that used to be a blank form letter from the place that her mom works at...but has a great drawing of a rainbow on the other side in blue ink. The caption over the rainbow says, "cut out the ranebow and culer it. for children. it is fun.")
Me: That is the best rainbow I've ever seen! But I have a problem. I have two granddaughters who live far away who love to color, and so I'll need to buy TWO papers.
LS: Ok! Here you go! (as she hands me a second piece of paper. This piece of paper has a drawing of a cyclops cat with the body of a weiner dog, labelled 'cat'. The caption over the cat says, "Stay in the lines. for little kids. it is fun to learn.")
Me: Wow, my granddaughters will LOVE to color these papers. How much are you selling them for?
LS: (no answer, as she sways back and forth with her hands full of papers behind her back)
Me: How about a quarter?
LS: (holding out her hand) Sure!
I think that is a pretty clever way for little kiddos to earn money, wouldn't you say? After all, how else are they supposed to pay for the buckets to put their horn hunting treasures in some day.
There is really tiny town in a very remote part of North Central Idaho called Elk City, population 198 (if you count the 10 cows and 28 horses). When this town started dying several years ago after the lumber mill pulled out, a very smart Elk City woman came up with a plan to create a business incubator for their area called Framing Our Community (FOC). Their mission: Framing Our Community serves the Elk City Region by providing integrated programs that create jobs, improve forest and watershed conditions, and increase educational opportunities. You can visit their site to shop for the above mentioned things for sale, as well as a plethora of other homemade wares: http://www.framingourcommunity.org/ Very clever way for these hill folk to earn a living.
So how do the Idaho hills younguns earn money? Here is an actual account of what they do:
As I am making my way down our mountain road in my car, two of our neighbors' little girls waved me down. The little girls are adorable, the youngest is a 5 years old redhead, and her older sister is about 7 years old. The little sister comes around to the drivers side of my car, I roll down my window, and we proceed with this conversation:
Me: Hi there!
LS (Little Sister): Hi, wouldja like to buy a paper? (at this point I have visions of the Sesame Street character who sells alphabet letters which are inside of his overcoat).
Me: A paper? Like.....what kind of paper?
LS: (as she is going through a stack of papers in her hand) Well, me and my sister drew up a bunch of pictures to sell.
Me: Really? Wow, lemme see whatcha got.
LS: Here! (handing me a piece of paper that used to be a blank form letter from the place that her mom works at...but has a great drawing of a rainbow on the other side in blue ink. The caption over the rainbow says, "cut out the ranebow and culer it. for children. it is fun.")
Me: That is the best rainbow I've ever seen! But I have a problem. I have two granddaughters who live far away who love to color, and so I'll need to buy TWO papers.
LS: Ok! Here you go! (as she hands me a second piece of paper. This piece of paper has a drawing of a cyclops cat with the body of a weiner dog, labelled 'cat'. The caption over the cat says, "Stay in the lines. for little kids. it is fun to learn.")
Me: Wow, my granddaughters will LOVE to color these papers. How much are you selling them for?
LS: (no answer, as she sways back and forth with her hands full of papers behind her back)
Me: How about a quarter?
LS: (holding out her hand) Sure!
I think that is a pretty clever way for little kiddos to earn money, wouldn't you say? After all, how else are they supposed to pay for the buckets to put their horn hunting treasures in some day.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
God Fearing Idahoans
Not that this has ever happened...er...but it definitely did...I mean could.
Idaho is famous for it's plentiful timber. The Idaho mountains are full of pinetrees that are beautiful, they make whispering sounds as the breeze passes through, and there is nothing better than using the wood to build a fire in the wood stove to make the cold winter days and nights warm and cozy.
A typical nightly ritual in Idaho is to stoke the wood stove before bedtime. This is not a difficult task. First, your wonderful husband splits the wood and stacks a neat pile of it near the wood stove. Next, you put on the 'wood stove stoking gloves' to prevent your delicate hands from getting slivers. Then you put several pieces of wood into the wood stove, open the damper a bit to get the fire going, close the damper a bit, and wallah! The fire keeps aglow through the night, keeping you nice and toasty.
Of course before you hop into bed with your nice hot rice bag, you must say your nightly prayers. Your prayers include many petitions, including asking Heavenly Father to please watch over the fire in the wood stove so that it doesn't burn the house down while you are sleeping. There is a lot to pray about at the end of the day, so of course you must assume a position that is comfortable. One of those positions is while you are on your knees at your bedside, you cross your hands on top of each other, resting them on the bed top. And then you put your forehead on top of your hands, thus providing a comfortable position for your head as you bow it in prayer.
Upon saying 'Amen', you discover that your forehead is stuck to your hands because somehow pitch got onto your hands, which is now stuck to your left eyebrow and bangs. If you have never dealt with pitch, you should know it is extremely sticky, and has a cement-like power when it touches anything. The only way to get it out of the bangs is to cut it out, leaving you with chunky bangs. Not so fortunate with the eyebrow. After picking...er..attempting to pick it out of the left eyebrow, you eventually give up because nothing is working. So you go to bed. It isn't until the following day that your left eyebrow hairs just simply fall out from messing around with them the day before.
If you ever spot a one-eyebrowed Idahoan, don't say anything. Just offer a little prayer for them, making sure that you don't rest your forehead on your hands while doing so.
Idaho is famous for it's plentiful timber. The Idaho mountains are full of pinetrees that are beautiful, they make whispering sounds as the breeze passes through, and there is nothing better than using the wood to build a fire in the wood stove to make the cold winter days and nights warm and cozy.
A typical nightly ritual in Idaho is to stoke the wood stove before bedtime. This is not a difficult task. First, your wonderful husband splits the wood and stacks a neat pile of it near the wood stove. Next, you put on the 'wood stove stoking gloves' to prevent your delicate hands from getting slivers. Then you put several pieces of wood into the wood stove, open the damper a bit to get the fire going, close the damper a bit, and wallah! The fire keeps aglow through the night, keeping you nice and toasty.
Of course before you hop into bed with your nice hot rice bag, you must say your nightly prayers. Your prayers include many petitions, including asking Heavenly Father to please watch over the fire in the wood stove so that it doesn't burn the house down while you are sleeping. There is a lot to pray about at the end of the day, so of course you must assume a position that is comfortable. One of those positions is while you are on your knees at your bedside, you cross your hands on top of each other, resting them on the bed top. And then you put your forehead on top of your hands, thus providing a comfortable position for your head as you bow it in prayer.
Upon saying 'Amen', you discover that your forehead is stuck to your hands because somehow pitch got onto your hands, which is now stuck to your left eyebrow and bangs. If you have never dealt with pitch, you should know it is extremely sticky, and has a cement-like power when it touches anything. The only way to get it out of the bangs is to cut it out, leaving you with chunky bangs. Not so fortunate with the eyebrow. After picking...er..attempting to pick it out of the left eyebrow, you eventually give up because nothing is working. So you go to bed. It isn't until the following day that your left eyebrow hairs just simply fall out from messing around with them the day before.
If you ever spot a one-eyebrowed Idahoan, don't say anything. Just offer a little prayer for them, making sure that you don't rest your forehead on your hands while doing so.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Are you kidding me???
Most people who are on welfare assistance have to be actively job searching, which is monitored by a State of Idaho contractor. Here is a scenario of an actual event which occurred this week; do not try this with your local State of Idaho contractor...it doesn't work:
Participant: I got hired for a job and I am supposed to start work in 2 days for (blank).
Contractor: That's wonderful! How many hours per week, and what rate of pay is this job offering?
Participant: 36-40 hours per week, I think $8.50 per hour. But I don't think I'm going to go in to work.
Contractor: Really.
Participant: Yeah, my sister has to work so I can't get a ride from her and I don't want to bother my mom for a ride to work.
Contractor: In order to qualify for the cash assistance that you applied for, you must take the job that you were offered.
Participant: WHAT??? I have a kid to support. How the bleep do you bleepin' people expect me to support him if you make me go to bleeping work?
No lie. This actually happened.
Participant: I got hired for a job and I am supposed to start work in 2 days for (blank).
Contractor: That's wonderful! How many hours per week, and what rate of pay is this job offering?
Participant: 36-40 hours per week, I think $8.50 per hour. But I don't think I'm going to go in to work.
Contractor: Really.
Participant: Yeah, my sister has to work so I can't get a ride from her and I don't want to bother my mom for a ride to work.
Contractor: In order to qualify for the cash assistance that you applied for, you must take the job that you were offered.
Participant: WHAT??? I have a kid to support. How the bleep do you bleepin' people expect me to support him if you make me go to bleeping work?
No lie. This actually happened.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Health Care in Idaho
Idahoans possibly have the lowest health care costs in America. Why? Well, that's because Idahoans are very resourceful, especially in the more rural parts of Idaho. Here is a great example.
One of the main staples in rural Idaho is the logging communities. Loggers are hard working, no-nonsense, get'er done type of folk. Sometimes loggers must take matters into their own hands, especially when things go wrong in the back woods. Loggers are very versatile, for example, they cross-train themselves in medical care.
Let's take a look at a day in the life of Boomer, a rural Idaho Logger. Boomer has been a logger for over 30 years and knows his stuff. He is tough and when it really gets tough, he wears red suspenders. Just in case. Loggers tend to run in herds...it is rare that you will fine one lone logging truck on the road. So on a typical day when Boomer was driving a logging truck, he had a fellow logger running with him. So when the fellow logger stops his truck because of a...ahem...medical problem, Boomer stopped his truck along side of the road as well. "What's the problem?" asked Boomer. "I dunno," said the fellow logger, as he pulls his hand out of his pants with blood on it. "I think I might have a tick or somethun." "Where?," asked Boomer. "Well," said the fellow logger,"in my um hiney crack."
Well now these loggers recognized that this is a potential important medical problem, and it didn't take long for the fellow logger to come up with a plan of action. "Hey Boomer, can you take a looky to see if it's a tick?" Well, what was Boomer to do, watch the man bleed to death, or render medical assistance in the field? The fellow logger dropped his drawers and grabbed his ankles. Good thing Boomer had a pocket knife with him (as all loggers do). After sanitizing the knife by swiping it twice along his pant leg, he went after that tick. It was this pose that is forever imprinted in the memory of the 15 other truck drivers hauling logs down that very same road right then. But no worries. The Silent Gag Order was immediately enforced just with 7 little words out of Boomer's mouth: "You say anything to anybody, you die."
Fortunately for the fellow logger, the minor field surgery extracted the tick, and the fellow logger lived on.
And that my friend, is how rural Idahoans conquer health care issues in Idaho.
One of the main staples in rural Idaho is the logging communities. Loggers are hard working, no-nonsense, get'er done type of folk. Sometimes loggers must take matters into their own hands, especially when things go wrong in the back woods. Loggers are very versatile, for example, they cross-train themselves in medical care.
Let's take a look at a day in the life of Boomer, a rural Idaho Logger. Boomer has been a logger for over 30 years and knows his stuff. He is tough and when it really gets tough, he wears red suspenders. Just in case. Loggers tend to run in herds...it is rare that you will fine one lone logging truck on the road. So on a typical day when Boomer was driving a logging truck, he had a fellow logger running with him. So when the fellow logger stops his truck because of a...ahem...medical problem, Boomer stopped his truck along side of the road as well. "What's the problem?" asked Boomer. "I dunno," said the fellow logger, as he pulls his hand out of his pants with blood on it. "I think I might have a tick or somethun." "Where?," asked Boomer. "Well," said the fellow logger,"in my um hiney crack."
Well now these loggers recognized that this is a potential important medical problem, and it didn't take long for the fellow logger to come up with a plan of action. "Hey Boomer, can you take a looky to see if it's a tick?" Well, what was Boomer to do, watch the man bleed to death, or render medical assistance in the field? The fellow logger dropped his drawers and grabbed his ankles. Good thing Boomer had a pocket knife with him (as all loggers do). After sanitizing the knife by swiping it twice along his pant leg, he went after that tick. It was this pose that is forever imprinted in the memory of the 15 other truck drivers hauling logs down that very same road right then. But no worries. The Silent Gag Order was immediately enforced just with 7 little words out of Boomer's mouth: "You say anything to anybody, you die."
Fortunately for the fellow logger, the minor field surgery extracted the tick, and the fellow logger lived on.
And that my friend, is how rural Idahoans conquer health care issues in Idaho.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Meet Bob
How is it that a simple question can turn into complete angst? Meet Bob. Bob was born and raised in a very rural part of Idaho. He has definite ideas that will never change. He's also a thinker, and likes to think things to death. And then kill it some more. Just about the time that Bob has thought about a topic that has long since met it's long drawn out death, Bob will think about it some more. And then, when some unsuspecting person asks him a question about The Topic, Bob gets to pull out the loaded shotgun again. Here's an example of one of those moments:
Bob was talking to a guy who works out at Les Schwab today, and the Les Schwab guy asked Bob some questions. Here is how Bob related the conversation to me:
LS Guy: So you haul the county garbage to Southern Idaho, right?
Bob: Right.
LS Guy: So how much does it cost to haul the garbage down there?
Bob: $17.25 per ton, well actually they are giving us a cut rate at $12 per ton, and I haul about 30 thousand pounds per day times 8 per week, times 29 times twenty five, so do the math.
LS Guy: Well one of the County Commissioners came here today and was asking for our support in the concept of the new landfill that is to be built out at Nezperce that will be used for our county garbage. He said this county will be saving millions and millions of dollars, which would then be money to pave every county road.
Bob:(His voice now 2 octaves louder) The proposal for the new landfill says they will charge this county $29.75 per ton, so you tell me how that is saving the county money. It’s just like throwing our county money down the drain for that Lankford guy…you know, the one who murdered that couple years ago. A local attorney keeps having to testify three times per month at $10,000 a time, and for what? They ought to take that Lankford guy out and tie ‘im to a tree out in the woods and have the so called wolves that (quote quote) Idaho doesn’t have, and they can have lunch. That would save the county taxpayers millions and millions of dollars right there.
And that, my friends, is how you solve problems in a rural county in Idaho.
Bob was talking to a guy who works out at Les Schwab today, and the Les Schwab guy asked Bob some questions. Here is how Bob related the conversation to me:
LS Guy: So you haul the county garbage to Southern Idaho, right?
Bob: Right.
LS Guy: So how much does it cost to haul the garbage down there?
Bob: $17.25 per ton, well actually they are giving us a cut rate at $12 per ton, and I haul about 30 thousand pounds per day times 8 per week, times 29 times twenty five, so do the math.
LS Guy: Well one of the County Commissioners came here today and was asking for our support in the concept of the new landfill that is to be built out at Nezperce that will be used for our county garbage. He said this county will be saving millions and millions of dollars, which would then be money to pave every county road.
Bob:(His voice now 2 octaves louder) The proposal for the new landfill says they will charge this county $29.75 per ton, so you tell me how that is saving the county money. It’s just like throwing our county money down the drain for that Lankford guy…you know, the one who murdered that couple years ago. A local attorney keeps having to testify three times per month at $10,000 a time, and for what? They ought to take that Lankford guy out and tie ‘im to a tree out in the woods and have the so called wolves that (quote quote) Idaho doesn’t have, and they can have lunch. That would save the county taxpayers millions and millions of dollars right there.
And that, my friends, is how you solve problems in a rural county in Idaho.
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